Not so long ago, having a feed of beef or pork wasn’t as easy as going to the grocery store and picking it up. If you wanted more than a morsel the most economic choice was to raise your own animals. And not everyone in Greens arm had the time, space or dedication for raising animals – but Augustus did.

So when Uncle Pleman’s sow had a litter in the next town over, Augustus and two other men from Green’s Arm decided they’d each buy a pig to raise and eat. The agreement was that Augustus would feed and raise all three pigs, and the other two men would pay for the feed. Everything was going as planned except that Augustus’ pig was growing steadily fatter, while the the other two pigs were staying pretty lean.

It wasn’t very long before one of the other pig’s owners wanted to know what the problem was.

“Well,” said Augustus, “I feeds them all at the same time, but mine gets to the food before the other two.”

“Oh? and why is that?” asked the man

“It’s because he’s smarter” replied Augustus “He always outsmarts the other two.”

“Come on Gus, how smart can a pig be?” asked the man.

“Well,” said Augustus, “I took him by the schoolhouse and he tested at a grade 6 level”

A quick addition: Like most true stories you hear things from other people later on. It turns out that the other two pigs remained scrawny right to the end. The daughter of one of the men in the story said this about their pig: “The roasts were so small that if we wanted pork, we had to make sure we had a beef roast to put on with it!”

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